Fuckboys drama.
Girls lie to themselves and do not listen.
Before I say anything I just want to make it clear that all I am saying is based on my own experience and reflections and obviously does not apply to everybody. As a matter if fact, everybody is different and every situation is different. I write mainly for myself to clear my mind and I am happy to share those reflections with people in case you wanna relate, seek for advice from someone like you or just want to waste your time but that does not mean I feel expert in this topic in any way.
Also by saying fuckboy, I don’t mean it in a bad way. A fuckboy for me is just a guy who is not interested in a committed relationship, wants to have fun and maybe has more girls he “hangs out with”. As long as you are being honest about it, there is nothing wrong about it.
Anywaysss.. I talk A LOT with people and girls following my class and I noticed that we ( because I have been through the same things many times) love to lie to ourselves and most importantly, we don’t listen. And those two things often times lead to a heartbreak of our own. What I am referring to , is when a guy tells you straight forward that he doesn’t want anything serious and you guys are just having good time, sometimes even though you like him and actually want something serious, you lie to him and yourself that you also just wanna have fun you are not into anything serious.
It is actually a huge privilege when a guy has courage to be this honest with you and you should take advantage of this privilege and be really frank with yourself and him, whether you really just want to have fun or whether you actually like this guy too much and you wish it became something serious.
Anyways, for some reason that is often not the case, and like I said we chose to lie that we do not want relationship either and end up in this situationship. Men , and many people in general, assume that you mean what you say. Meaning, when you say you don’t want anything serious, they believe you.
Little does the poor guy know, that actually meanwhile while you are “hanging out” deep inside , sometimes against your own will, you are growing feelings and soon enough it will become too much and you won’t be able to take it anymore, you break out and confuse the shit out of the guy, cause he thought that you were just cool, having fun and fucking.
What makes it even more complicated , is when guys tell us all those nice things such as “ I love your personality”, “we have something really special” , “ the way we click is so extraordinary” etc. What we tend to do is, fulfilling the story and give those words all another meaning thinking that he really likes you and you will be together.
WRONG.
This is when the part comes that you don’t listen. When men (and again, people in general) say they love your personality and you got magical click, they mean that you have great personality and you got a good click, thats it. Maybe he does like you a lot but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a click and like other girls at the same time. And you cannot blame him for it.
Him saying that he likes you, doesn’t mean that he wants to be in a relationship with you until he actually clearly says it or most importantly until he shows it with his actions.
There are a lot of men there that will tell you whatever you want to hear but if his actions do not cover his words, girl, run.
Also, I kind of feel bad for guys because sometimes the way things end make guys look like assholes even tho they did not deserve it. We blame them for breaking our hearts, because they told us that we have something special. Well yeah, we had something special but you didn’t want to have anything serious you said it, remember? He told you what he wanted and it went wrong because you lied about what you actually wanted.
So the moral of this story is just be honest about what you want and listen. If you start growing feelings to a guy that you hang out with, be honest about it, at least to yourself.
And if you tell him about what you want and he tells you openly that he cannot give it to you, cut it, for your own good.